Life is like on a roller coaster,
there's ups & downs,
accept what had happen in your life,
cause what's better is ahead (:
i slowly understand this word meaning
and i started to rewind my life all the past flashed through my mind.
i saw my unhappiness i saw thing i did n regret, hurt, pain, hate.
its a so painful past time
guy hurt me fren hurt me things hurt me everything hurting me n the pain no one know no one understand. dun tell me ( u nv say how other know? u siao ) KNN LAN JIAO okay! i dun say make thing clear leh. is i NEVER say or i CANT say!?!?
all those thing that i had been through before i cant tell or share with anyone.
why? reason simply.
example 1
lp: y u quit sch?
ans: i very stress. . .
lp: ( cut off my words ) HUH?? u how old only? so young got stress? u lie to me ar.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!??? RIDICULOUS MAN!!!
imagine u telling someone ur thing or problem u kena scolded or what hell in this way. fair anot? ya i'm young but young doesn't mean no stress or what. i'm also human okay? all human got stress want alrite even animal they will stress about their baby hungry n things. dun tell me they wont. why cant treat me nicely abit? why cant you be understanding abit? why? WHY!?!?
u all INHUMAN!! i hate you all!! understand?
example 2
lp: u now working? work wat?
ans: no working.
lp: why? u want whole life do nth ar. u want ppl feed u ar?
ans: i cant find.
lp: HUH??? cant find where got such thing is u cant find or never go find?
WHAT THE KNLBCCB
i ans got wrong ar? think leh think leh.. if i say yes i working ppl sure ask what u work as? and do u know no matter what job u say u will kena say. what they say? this job not good pay so little. $1200 - $1500 little?? HONG GAN la. den keep on comment on ur job this n that.
if i say no i never work. ppl jiu say things above ( example 2 ) n if they intro u they will say this job 1 month pay $600 many u go work la. KNN i working that time u say my pay $1200 - $1500 is less. u now tell me $600 is more? u go give dog fuck la. talk cock with me. na bei
FUCK OFF
see all this i share with other and they return say thing like that to me u think i can take it?
ans: FUCKING NO WAY!! alrite.
maybe i should really put down the f*cking hurtful past n move on to my future
but i did that all alone.. D:
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just now i went to chat with hannah online i ask her if i want go back to sch do i still got some chance? she told me she will try helping me. i hope she can help me cuz i dunno how n who to ask anymore le.
but at the same time i also abit scare if she told me i can go back sch for study cuz i dun really 100% well prepare yet cuz of some reason.
first reason: i no problem going school early but i got problem going school early cuz whenever its time for me to walk out from my house i will got sudden stomach pain its make me must to rush in to toilet.
second reason: i'm slow on study. i hope to drop 3 extract large subject (ART, EOA, CPA) this 3 subject can cause me cant study well for my english n math. cuz i felt that english math i the most important subject for me/ to me.
third reason: i also dun wanna take part in PE lesson. cuz i got asthma n some problem in running like that. but ever i see the stupid doctor all they say is nothing nothing n nothing.
and because of all this reason i quited sch. other then this reason is i always get bully, no fren, no one, teacher hack care do nth.
but Chances for me to go back seems to be quite dim.
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i want a loss of memory
can i?
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Life is unpredictable, things may change just within a second.
Cherish your present, don't leave any regrets in life.
If life can renew, it wouldn't be the same.
I swear.
